January 22
STARTING WEIGHT: 340
I was an overweight kid through high school etc...I am an emotional eater when I get mad, bored, depressed, or even in a good mood I eat. As time goes on you just seem to get larger and larger and I think I never perceived myself to be so large. Like I mean you know you are overweight but then you see a picture and you are like Oh my gosh that is not me. You avoid scales and new clothes at least I do and then before you know it your heart rate is going 139 when you are laying down you are at the hospital for chest pains and that is embarrassing and you have no energy to do anything even walk up the steps. So when you ask me how I got here the initial response is I don't know but to come forth and be honest about it the true answer is from not caring, from not seeing myself as important or worthy of anything, maybe in ways as a protection and excuse not to do things, I know there are so many people out there that have many of the same reasons and probably more. I start a new different diet every other day. I have sat through the weight loss surgery seminars and I am just afraid of that option. I have had personal trainers, gym memberships, you name it I've tried it from diet pills that make your heart feel as if they will jump out of your chest or nauseous to the diet Dr in Florida that prescribes speed and 10 ounces of protein a day haha extreme dieting I suppose you could call it..and.... after each diet that I fail I gain back the lost weight and then more as I am sure anyone overweight knows the drill. I have a hard time putting me first and being selfish with my time. I know however that when I do it does work. The biggest loser and this challenge have motivated me so much. It is a shame it takes 5 seasons to get me off my butt and do something but you are truly not ready to do it until you really decide I've HAD ENOUGH! and I HAVE HAD ENOUGH!
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Why have I had enough?
I am tired of being made fun of
I am tired of standing and holding peoples purses while they ride amusement park rides with my kids
I am tired of my child asking me to play with him and being to embarrassed to run around outside or to full of carbs to even move
I am tired of hiding and eating and lying to myself and others
I am tired of going on nice vacations and not even leaving the room
I am tired of going to a restaurant and as I follow the hostess through sizing up the spaces to make sure I fit and am not embarrassed or tipping someone out of their chair as I pass by
I am tired of not visiting my family in other states and avoiding friends b/c I am ashamed of the way I look!
I just turned 30 my life is more than half over if I don't do something about it. I have hid all my life and I'm tired of hiding.
FAT is a suit that destroys every aspect of your life from not feeling attractive and pushing your loved ones away to laying and bed as your days pass by and your children grow and this has to be the end.
I will be FAT NO MORE. I choose life and if I do not put myself first and choose LIFE then my consequences is undoubtedly death!
Why I choose to live....
Who could not choose to live. I will be a better mom. I will be a better person. I am worthy of this.
I WILL SUCCEED!
January 09
I AM TOTALLY BEAT. WE EXERCISED TWO TIMES TODAY AND REALLY PUSHED IT. MY BROTHER WORRIES ME B/C IM NOT SURE HOW FAR HE CAN BE PUSHED SO IT GETS STRESSFUL AT TIMES. WE TOOK THE KIDS TO AN EMPTY FIELD AND RAN AND PLAYED WITH THEM. I DONT THINK THEY KNEW WHAT TO THINK REALLY. MY BROTHER HAS DEVELOPED A REALLY BAD HABIT OF IF THE BALL DOESNT COME TO HIS REACH SENDING SOMEONE ELSE TO GET IT...WELL NOT TODAY..HE HAD TO WALK AND GET IT HIMSELF.. AND HE DID! WHEN WE WERE FINISHED EVERYONE FELT SO MUCH BETTER. LETS HOPE THIS CONTINUES. IT GETS SO HARD FOR ME WHEN I GET FRUSTRATED WITH EVERYDAY SITUATIONS AND I EAT EMOTIONALLY. IT LOOKS LIKE A FEW OTHER FAMILY MEMBERS ARE CLIMBING ON THE WAGON WITH US AND SO THE SUPPORT WILL HELP. GOOD LUCK TO ALL THE OTHER CONTESTANTS AND TRY TO REMEMBER EVEN IF YOU DONT WIN THE CHALLENGE YOU WIN AT LIFE AND AT BEING HEALTHY. THATS SOMETHING NO AMOUNT OF MONEY OR PRIZES COULD EVER BUY IN MY EYES.
TODAY IS DAY 1 FOR US WE HAVE GOTTEN OFF TO A GREAT START AND ARE EXCITED TO BE A PART OF THE BIGGEST LOSER CHALLENGE. wE INTEND ON PUTTING 210% OF OURSELVES INTO THIS AND WETHER OR NOT WE WIN A PRIZE WE WIN AT LIFE AND BEING HEALTHY. WILL UPDATE AGAIN LATER THIS EVENING.
Tools 
I travel a lot back and forth every week from West Virginia to Tennessee and I tell you it can take a toll on you when it comes to having time. I need at least 48 hours in a day. Dont we all! Well here is what ahs been happening. Tuesday through Friday I am in WV so My brother and I workout daily and have been following our diets very closely. Adapting to eating 6 times a day every three hours and on a goal caloric besis is h ard but doable. It really helps to have support. We then found an empty baseball field where we go and run and play soccer, tag, etc, with our kids. Anthony is Michaels son and is nine years old and Landon is my son and just turned five. They are loving it, especially Anthony whos dad for so long has sat back and just watched him play and when the ball would pass by him instead of coming directly to him he would make Anthony go get it. Now he is active getting in the floor helping Anthony who is an avid wrestler practice his moves. Jogging along with him and playing besketball. My brother used to love basketball when he was in high school he lost 50 pounds one summer just playing ball. Our diets have been great, occasional slip ups but not bad. Instead of a bag of chips a few. We are far from perfect. On the 12th I had a birthday and I was very good. My son wanted real cake lol but I wanted to stay on my plan so i had a smart ones dessert and My fiance and son got a small cake that was maybe a slice and split it. I was proud of them and me. While in Tennesse I try and take my son to the park and to go for walks with everyone. It is hard and sometimes I feel so lazy. Its much easier when I am where my brother is because if I am in a blaah mood he snaps me out of it and visa versa. I guess thats what a team is about. Well there is a quick update of the last week. I will update more often now that I have my page in order. I hope everyone out there is doing well and staying motivated. Motivation is the hardest part of it though it comes and goes but with the support of your family teammate and friends you can get over that hump and reach your goals not just in the journey of weight loss but in life. Good luck to you all!
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